tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
