ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How external is "for external use only"?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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