so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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