You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
