it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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