i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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