ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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