All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
