I'm drive I can fine osifer
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
