I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
