morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
