Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
