Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
