U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
