If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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