we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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