hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
