In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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