the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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