WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
