these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
