No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
