Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize