we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
