i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
