It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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