i don't plan on having that self control this summer
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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