maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
