Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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