My liver just broke up with me...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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