I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
