I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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