Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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