She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
