Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
