I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
