Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize