i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
