Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize