Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
