I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
