His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
