Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The ass gains better be worth it
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