I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need moral support for this bender
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize