I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
