We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Im part way to drunk.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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