Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
