my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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