I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so explain again why im purple
no
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
