If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
