walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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