those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
