i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
