Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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