Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
