My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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