I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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