That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
accomplished twins. life is a go
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
