somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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