Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
